When Your Teen Isn’t Sure What’s Next

It’s incredibly hard watching your teen feel unsure about what comes next. Whether they’re confused about subjects, careers, friendships, or simply who they’re becoming, that “lost” feeling is far more common than many parents realise, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong.

This stage can actually become a turning point, especially when your teen has space, reassurance, and gentle guidance around them.

Here are some ways to support them without adding pressure.

1. Start With Listening, Not Fixing

As a parent, this can feel like going against instinct. For so many years, your natural role has been to sort things out — to solve, to smooth, to protect. That doesn’t just switch off.

But as teens get older, what they often need most is simply to be heard, without a rush to come up with solutions.

Try:

• Asking open questions like “What feels unclear right now?”

• Validating their feelings: “I can see why this feels overwhelming.”

• Gently reminding them that uncertainty is normal, adults feel it too.

It’s surprising how much pressure lifts when a young person feels truly listened to.

2. Help Them Learn About Themselves

Clarity rarely comes from choosing a job title — it comes from understanding who they are.

You could explore:

• Strengths: What energises them? What feels natural?

• Values: What matters most — creativity, connection, stability, freedom?

• Future-self thinking: What might a “day in the life” look like 5–10 years from now?

These kinds of conversations help teens recognise what feels important to them, without needing to know an exact path.

3. Share Helpful Websites and Resources (If They Want Them)

When everything feels overwhelming, having simple, reliable information can make things feel more manageable. Some teens prefer to explore resources in their own time; others like to talk things through. Offering both options keeps things low-pressure.

Helpful UK-based starting points:

• Childline – Your Future

• Talking Futures

• YoungMinds

You can pass these on and let your teen choose whether they’d like to look alone or go through anything together.

4. Break the Future Into Small, Manageable Steps

When a young person feels lost, the idea of a “big plan” can feel overwhelming. Small steps help them feel more in control.

Short-term (1–3 months)

• Try a new activity, course or volunteering role

• Explore a couple of possible pathways

• Keep a simple weekly reflection note

Medium-term (3–12 months)

• Attend open evenings or taster days

• Shadow someone working in a role they’re curious about

• Create a low-pressure vision board

Small steps build confidence. Confidence builds momentum. And momentum leads to clarity.

5. Encourage a Growth Mindset

Teens often panic about making the “wrong” choice, as if one decision now will shape the rest of their life. And even though we, as adults, know life doesn’t unfold in a straight line, it’s easy for them to forget that.

Most of us didn’t end up doing the thing we first trained for. Many of us have changed direction — sometimes more than once. That isn’t failure; it’s normal. It’s how people grow, learn and find what feels right.

And honestly, how could any young person know their perfect path before they’ve had the chance to try things? There’s so much they haven’t seen yet. Clarity often comes later, through doing, exploring and discovering what fits.

Sharing this with your teen can take the pressure off. It helps them understand that choosing something now isn’t a lifelong commitment, it’s a starting point. Every experience teaches them more about who they are and what matters to them.

6. When Coaching Can Help

Some young people find it easier to talk things through with someone who isn’t a parent or teacher — someone neutral who can help them reflect, build confidence and make sense of their next steps without pressure.

Coaching can be especially helpful when a teen is feeling stuck, overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. It offers time, space and steady support so they can explore what matters to them.

If you’d like to understand more about how coaching might support your teen, you can find details here: Empower Young People to Thrive – Coaching & Mentoring | believeinpossible

7. Notice When Extra Support Might Be Needed

Feeling lost is normal, but sometimes it sits alongside anxiety, low mood or emotional overwhelm.

It may help to reach out for extra support if your teen is:

• Withdrawing more than usual

• Struggling with sleep or concentration

• Speaking negatively about the future

• Showing signs of persistent anxiety

A GP, school counsellor, Childline or local young person’s mental health service can offer guidance and reassurance.

Your teen doesn’t need everything figured out right now. What matters most is knowing they’re supported, understood and allowed to explore at their own pace. With calm conversations and the right support around them, things begin to feel clearer, steadier and far less overwhelming.

And you’re already doing more than you realise.